Bring a large pot of salted water to a boil. Add 1 lb of elbow macaroni and cook according to package instructions (usually 7–9 minutes) until al dente. Drain well and rinse with cold water to cool it down and stop the cooking process.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together 1 cup mayonnaise, 1/2 cup sour cream, 4 oz softened cream cheese, and 1 tbsp Dijon mustard. Mix until smooth and creamy—no lumps. If the cream cheese resists blending, a hand mixer helps.

Stir in 1 cup shredded cheddar, 1/2 cup crumbled bacon, 1/4 cup chopped pickled jalapeños, and 2 diced fresh jalapeños. Add 2 tsp garlic powder, 1 tsp onion powder, and a pinch of salt and pepper. Mix well to combine.

Add the cooled macaroni to the creamy mixture. Gently fold everything together with a spatula until the pasta is well coated and the mix-ins are evenly distributed.

Cover the bowl and refrigerate for at least 1 hour to let the flavors meld. Just before serving, sprinkle chopped green onions on top for a fresh pop of color and flavor.